


honey ask me (i should know)

by DecayingPapers



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Holidays, M/M, Post-Canon, it's summertime and matteo's gonna start getting better!, the ok.cool boys n the rest of the girl squad are there too but more briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecayingPapers/pseuds/DecayingPapers
Summary: It's summer and Matteo isn't sure what that means for him this time around.





	honey ask me (i should know)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i originally planned for this to be some more summers, but it just seems to work better like this – i might make it a series though at some point. for now, enjoy!
> 
> ps this is mostly me projecting because i'm in the middle of exams and finality is scary. also, the title is from hozier's from eden

The summer after they graduate has an air of finality and, understandably, new beginnings to it. Matteo doesn't really feel it when he learns he's passed (they all did, somehow, and there's a party to celebrate that; him and David leave halfway through and spend the rest of the night walking around Berlin), not when Hans helps him make his hair look half-decent for prom (it only stays that way until Jonas gets him in a headlock and ruffles it, that asshole), not when he sways to some love song with David's forehead grounding on his shoulder (Matteo went to prom, he went with a boy, and they're slow-dancing, and he never would have thought he'd get that, let alone want it).

Matteo only realizes he's done, free, the morning after prom, when he's woken up by the girls talking over each other, probably sprawled on the living room's couch. The sleepover was Carlos and Kiki’s idea, the two always hell-bent on making sure the boys and girls hang out together often enough; they would do that anyway, somehow gravitating towards each other, always in motion and meeting in passing, like a bunch of messed up, loser planets, but it’s not like Kiki or Carlos would be satisfied with that. Matteo, surprisingly, doesn’t mind most of the time.

He lies in bed, the duvet tangled around his and David’s ankles, because it’s late spring and, with the sun shining through the window and the memory of last night’s suffocating dance floor, Matteo must have just kicked it off them at some point. The uncomfortably high temperature in his room didn’t stop him from finding David’s hand in his sleep though, so Matteo gently frees his clammy fingers and gets up. He tells himself that it's okay, that there's fresh air outside and the weight on his chest should only need a couple of breaths to subside, or at least Matteo hopes so. He steps over Abdi's legs and opens the door, slipping out of the room and shutting it as quickly as possible.

The girls are on the sofa, just like he expected, going through the pictures from the night before on Mia’s computer. Hanna seems to be falling asleep on Sam’s shoulder, but other than her they all seem relatively put together. Matteo says a quick hello to them and steps onto the small balcony. Then it all dawns on him.

It’s done.

***

Matteo gets a job at a bistro two streets down from his flat a week into the holidays. David comes over on most days during his lunch break at the library he works at and Matteo always gets him a tea with his employee discount. These are usually the only moments when he’s not going on auto-pilot at work, when he cherishes every brush of David’s fingers, every minute of chatting when it’s not a busy day, every smile David sends his way as he leaves through the glass door.

One time, David kisses him goodbye over the counter, quickly and gone before Matteo can even realise it happened. He drops the plate he was holding, doesn’t even hear the sound of it breaking.

***

It takes Matteo a little over four weeks to start seeing a therapist. Even though he had known something was wrong, he would always try to convince himself that it would all disappear once he moved out. Or once he fit in, once he came out, once he left school. It didn’t. David keeps talking about it; at first it’s just subtle mentions here and there, when they’re lying in bed with the moon shining brightly through the window, David too awake and Matteo too tired. Then David starts going to appointments himself, mentions how it’s helping. David breathes a little lighter from time to time. Matteo is happy for him, but pretends he doesn’t notice.

What actually, finally makes him go is seven unanswered calls from his mum. Maybe he can’t deal with it all on his own. Maybe, and Matteo has been harbouring that thought, carefully, for a couple of weeks now, maybe he doesn’t have to.

***

David loves going to parks. They try biking to a different one each weekend, sometimes rotating the ones that struck them in some particular way. They both know that it’s not just the scenery, or the shadows the trees give. It’s making the bike go faster; it’s the hot air biting David’s cheeks but still not being able to stop him; it’s no one knowing where they are.

Sometimes, David goes on rides on his own. Matteo doesn’t mind, but always makes him lemonade when he comes back, out of breath and sweaty; that’s the thing Matteo is most grateful for – that, when he leaves alone, David always comes over at the end of the day, downs most of the lemonade, scrunches up his face at how sweet Matteo makes it.

Matteo stands between David’s legs where he’s sat on the kitchen stool, the window wide open behind them and the smell of a summer evening coming in with hot puffs of wind.

‘How was today?’ Matteo asks, catches David’s hand in his. It’s quiet for a moment, except for the sounds coming in from the street.

‘Up and down,’ David answers. It’s good enough, that’s what they usually work with.

When Matteo kisses David, his lips are sticky with sugar.

***

In the stifling summer heat, Matteo builds bridges.

He bakes his mum a lopsided cake for her birthday. It’s ugly, but neither of them cares when Matteo brings it over. They get cream all over their fingers and his mum makes iced tea. She tells him he should bring David over some time and Matteo has to put the plate away for a second.

Amira Skypes him when the girls get to Spain, the five of them squeezed together on the hostel’s common room sofa. They look exhausted and, as Amira tells the story of how they got lost just two hours into their road trip, they start leaving to bed one after another. After Mia says her goodnight, interrupted by a yawn, and they’re left alone together, Amira lowers her voice and tells Matteo she misses her brother. He has to remind her not to fall asleep on the lumpy sofa.

When Matteo’s dad texts him, saying he’s in Berlin for the next two days, him and David hole up in the flat, stocked up on ice-cream. Matteo texts back, saying he’s away.

***

‘I want this to be a gap year,’ Matteo says, the words out there and gone, out of his head at once. Amira sits across the kitchen table, chin propped up on her hands.

It came as a bit of a shock when Matteo realized she didn’t only hang out with him when she was waiting for the rest of the girls to come over. When he did, it was like a punch, except pleasant and warm. So, maybe, it wasn't like a punch at all.

‘I mean, everyone and their mother knows I’m not going anywhere starting in October, but, I don’t know, I want to find something I would genuinely want to do.’ Amira hums, takes a sip of her tea, waits for Matteo to say more.

‘Do you have everything set up for Australia?’ he asks instead.

‘I’m getting there,’ she answers, and her eyes get that glint Matteo’s come to love. ‘Actually, I was thinking of throwing a going-away party before I leave.’ She doesn’t talk about how that year is going to be the be-all, end-all for so many of them, doesn’t say she’s been putting away packing for two weeks now. That’s a conversation for hot chocolate at least, and for night-time.

He gets up from the table and starts rummaging through their cupboards, because he must have seen the box somewhere. Luckily, the summer is coming to an end and it should get dark soon.

 _What if I don’t find anything worth doing?_ The thought rings in his head, but Matteo slams the cupboard shut and turns away from it.

***

It’s the last day of August and, even though it’s neither the end of the holidays, nor of the summer, it still feels like something to cherish. That’s why the boys are holed up in Matteo’s room with the balcony door wide open, the sounds of a Saturday night in the street mixing with the bass seeping out of the speaker Carlos brought over. Him and Abdi are looking at something on Carlos’ phone, and Matteo thinks Abdi might be showing Carlos the student accommodation they’re going to be staying at, because apparently it’s ‘cool as fuck'.

Jonas is lying on the floor, absentmindedly strumming his guitar, his feet propped up on Matteo’s bed. David says something to him and they both laugh, but Matteo can’t tell what it was. He realises he hasn’t really been paying attention, only registering maybe every fifth world. It doesn’t bother him though, not for now, because it’s been a tough couple of weeks, with everyone making some plans, but not just that. Sometimes it’s bad just because.

For now, Matteo leans his head back onto the open balcony door, feeling August slip away.

He can see how it’s going to go. They’ll probably cheer at midnight, and someone will say something cheesy, or maybe Hans will burst through the door to wish them a happy September or some shit. The boys will probably start leaving not too long afterwards, groaning as they get up from the various spots they have claimed in Matteo’s room. David might stay the night, or he might not. Matteo thinks he will.

They will get up, the autumnal air not quite noticeable yet, but still there at the back of their minds. They will make breakfast, and burn the toast (or not, Matteo hopes they won’t), and make out against the sink. It won’t feel like letting a summer go at all, because, frankly, Matteo never feels like he’s giving something up when he’s with David.

Or maybe that’s because, this time, there might be something hopeful waiting for him on the other side of the summer.

**Author's Note:**

> wow, thanks for reading!! i'd love any kind of feedback honestly, have a good day!  
> you can also find me on tumblr @sweterki :)


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